WHEN THE END TIME COMES

“When the End Time Comes”

My chest is open

My heart is bare

Red and raw

But you don’t care

You smash it

You beat it

You tear it apart

You don’t even notice

Just how much it’s scarred.

Each word that you say

Is a punch to the face

You don’t need your hands

To cause my red face

I am your partner, your lover, you say

But your actions cause nothing but sadness, dismay

Leave. Stay. No. I pray.

Never knowing the answer to that each day

What do I want? What do I do?

Can’t even decide if I’m afraid of you

I think I am, sometimes, ya know,

The pain you cause runs deep below

All of the nice things you’ve ever said

Can’t make up for when I’ve wished I was dead

Leave me. Quit waiting on me. Just go.

Then things would get better for me, ya know

Stop waiting on me to walk out the door.

I’m not going to do it. I’ll fall to this floor.

There’s no strength in me to just get up and leave

I just have to hope you will and believe

What is it you say about my beliefs?

That’s all that offers me a sense of relief.

Go. I’m tired. Please get out of here.
      “Not ‘til you cross into hell, my dear.”

Written on July 11, 2018

DREAMERS

“Dreamers” 

Searching across the mountaintops,

Wondering what lingers out there,

Knowing life exists beyond those mounds of rock and stone,

The thoughts that they are so far from my home.

Reaching for the bright moon, it seems,

Staring into it with wild dreams,

Knowing man once stepped upon that perfect piece of bone,

All may as well be on the same dark road.

Heading for that lonely highway,

Stretching outward with open arms,

Knowing a new life may be just beyond that border,

An answer to all of the chaos and disorder.

Written on July 8, 2018

NIGHT PROWLERS

“Night Prowlers”

Placing my hand on the damp sidewalk,

    Wet, gritty, rough,

    Not able to talk,

Crawling with every bit of my strength,

Stretching to make another arm’s length,

Breathing heavy as I push with one leg,

Remembering how he had told me to beg.

Reaching farther, almost into the light,

Regretting I even had to be out tonight.

Pulling myself up at the old lamp post,

    Shaken,

    Scared,

    Scarred,

    Almost.

Needing to make it only two more hours,

Escaping the plots of the evil night prowlers.

Written on November 9, 2018

CONSUMED BY DEATH

“Consumed by Death”

Peeking through my hands

I see you standing

over there.

I can not tell you

just how much, but

I’m really, really scared.

I want to hide underneath

my bed, but you will know

that I am there.

You will simply come to get me

and pull me out by 

my black hair.

You are evil 

manifested in an

awful human being,

who moves within 

these walls of this

dilapidated dwelling.

You’re a devil

with his horns

turned inward

so no one can see

but you can’t hide

your evil ways

from the likes of me.

You can’t fool me with your

smiling face and hand

filled with green

I know your evil side.

You are more than

simply mean.

I crawl quickly and quietly

underneath my bed

I feel your claws 

on my ankle

You yank so hard

I bump my head

I beg. I scream. I plead.

I don’t want to go there.

Don’t you see!

I would do

almost anything.

I feel the heat. I see

the fire. I hear the

hounds. I’m not

a liar!

Peeking through my hands,

I see you standing over me.

I can not tell you just how odd

You feel inside of me.

Written on March 1, 2019

THE DROWNING

“The Drowning” 

Silently, I lurk inside

Trying to break free. 

Desperately, I search my mind

Who is the real me?

I reach for her

And call her name. 

She turns in fear 

and runs away. 

“Come out, my child,

You shall not be harmed. 

The world is mild. 

Do not be alarmed.”

But still she just does not come near. 

Just drowns in all her falling tears. 

Written on February 24, 1998

UNTIL I AM ALONE

“Until I am Alone” 

My loneliness not compared 

My heart’s feelings suppressed

Interaction hides my heartbreak, 

     At least for a little while,

     Until I am alone again

And seemingly without friends. 

My broken heart not repaired 

My mind’s severely stressed

Distractions conceal my heartache, 

     At least for the present

     Until I am alone again

And seemingly without solutions. 

My disappointment not recognized

My problem’s not addressed

Diversions prevent my heartlessness,

     At least for the meantime, 

     Until I am alone again

And seemingly without amends. 

Written on February 25, 1994

THE DARKNESS

“The Darkness” 

Inside the heart lives a darkness there.

It seeps out and even gives me a scare.

Sometimes, creepy and nervous and all fidgety

Wanting to grab you in your time of need.

Blacker and darker,

Not gray any longer.

Creepier and stronger,

Crying even harder.

The darkness surrounds me.

It’s everywhere!

It’s everywhere!

I cannot help it now but to feel scared!

I open my mouth wide to scream,

And quickly, 

The darkness disappears

Back inside of me.

 Written on September 21, 2018

TOUCHED BY GRACE

“Touched by Grace” 

Toss all my hurt, my pain, my fear,

     into the abyss.

All of which brought about 

     by one simple kiss.

Release me from this empty shell 

     and set free my soul.

With the wave of Your hand, 

     my heart, my mind, made whole.

No more will I wallow in tears, 

     the burden is too much.

For by Your grace I am freed

     by Your sovereign touch.

Written on February 27, 1998

BIAS

“Bias”

It is the slightest difference you notice and feel about one who is otherwise equal to another.

It is the subconscious working during every conscious action.

It lingers under the surface in every major decision.

We try to overcome it by just being aware of its existence but to no avail.

We think we have beaten it when we make a decision only to find it reared its ugly head after all.

We hire someone setting it aside, but we find we treat them differently and just can’t help how we think or feel about them.

Yes, it knows it has its hold on us and keeps us underneath its fist.

To truly break free from its hold, one must build a relationship with it.

Written on July 24, 2018

IT

“It”

It has no name

It has no face

It has no form

It loves a chase

You can try to run

You can try to hide

But It sees everywhere

And It knows everything

It comes for you

With only one intent

To scare from you

What life you have left

You are a sacrifice to It

Which has seen your inner abyss

The place where you hide

Your deepest held fears

It can go there

And from within,

It draws you out

Like fear is sin

It punishes you

For what you can’t control

It works on you

‘Til it takes Its toll

Then, like a slaughtered lamb

It finishes you off, and

Leaves a once warm body

With cold feet and cold hands.

Written on November 18, 2018