“The Hidden”
Things turned bad again last night.
I pulled inside my shell and closed up tight
While you took your shots at me, left and right.
Kids tucked in their beds, “Oh, what a fright!”
The scars and marks cover all of the spots
That have suffered from your wounds and your knots.
A white cloth all blood stained
Nothing won here, nothing gained
You bottle up all your anger
Built up inside when around family and strangers
Then release it upon those you love
With a few slaps coupled with a shove.
Almost drops me to the floor
Since it doesn’t, you deliver more.
No one deserves to suffer such an attack.
I just don’t have it in me to fight back.
I cover my head and face as much as I can,
But your fists seem to hit right through my hands.
I run for the bedroom at my first chance.
You reach out for me as we do our endless dance.
I break free, run quickly and reach for the door.
I shut it fast and then I drop to the floor,
Hoping the lock will hold and I’ll catch a break.
I’m just not sure how much more I can take,
I shed tears in anger, pain and sadness,
While trying to stay calm during all the madness.
Then I hear bottles breaking in the living room,
And I hear a snap, sounds like the breaking of the new broom.
I crawl over to the bed, hoping you’re done,
As I hear you settle in your chair, I’m next to the gun.
So many times I have thought about using it.
Just one more time and I can end all the bullshit.
But I don’t have it in me to use the gun.
After all, by tomorrow all of this will be done.
Everything will be back to normal, it will all be over.
We will be one happy family, once again, here in Dover.
Let me try to go to sleep now before he comes back again.
If I’m asleep, just maybe he’ll see me as a friend.
Not an enemy to him at all, he should know.
Of my physical abuse, I have never told.
I keep it buried deep down within my soul,
Where it has created this enormous black hole.
Who knows what would happen if it explodes,
Like the 357 Magnum when it unloads.
For now I keep it buried inside me in a dark place,
Hidden behind a dark veil of fine lace,
Knowing that one day I may reach into the wicked place,
And put on that mask of a different face.
Written on 7/22/19